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Letter No 44 Friday. 23 May. Major J.H. Massey, 6 Palestinian Coy, The Buff, Middle East Forces My darling Barbara - I cannot settle down to write a letter, or to do anything else for that matter, until I hear the news from you. I thought it was bad enough when I was hanging about Arthington & Horsforth. & as bad as it could be when I was in Chater. But here, it is impossible. It all may have happened, & I may not know for days. I had your 18th letter today, telling me of all that Hughes was doing for you, & I feel very confident that all will be well but I am very anxious & jumpy, my darling. You have been tough so much, sweetheart, & I konw you will be frightened. Its is hellish. I know I could do so much to help you if I was there, with you. I always feel happy & proud & thankful that I am able to comfort you when you are distressed or frightened. I would give anything in the world to be with you, if only I could be, just for a few days. I could make your mind easier & make you forget about what was coming. I should talk to you & listen to you, & fetch & carry for you.
even do a silly danse for you, to make you laugh. And I would make tea for you & "create" a supper for you. And I would undress you, pull your stokings & knicks off & unclip you BB & kiss you in all the places. Oh darling angel, I can feel you & smell you as I write this. And then I would bath you & dry you & then we would lie in bed, wrapped up & very close & you would feel very content, wouldn't you, sweethest ? If only this could have been allowed to happen. I know it would all make such a difference to you, & I would so love to be able to comfort & help you. I'm thinking & hoping all the time for you, darling. That Hughes will be really wonderful & that you will not know too much about it & then your worries will be over & you will have something to live for & to work for again. Darling, dearest Barbara, you do know & realise how much I love you, don't you ? Because it is just all & everything of me, & every ounce of my heart & soul. I do want you to really want my love, & then to realise
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how deep and passionate & ever lasting it is. I have a tremendous, really tremendous, feeling of pride & consuming satisfaction when I realise that someone as nice & wondeful lovely as you are loves me. And I do hope that you feel something like that too. All my heart & mind is with you these days, darling. God bless & keep you. I'm having to work excessively hard at the moment, for which I'm thankfull. I finished at 10:30 tonight. But I did manage to slip away for 1 1/2 hours late this afternoon, & have a gorgeous bath at a sandy beach near here. My first bath this year, & my first time in the Mediterranean since St Maxime, with you in your yellow costume, & our room in "Les Palmiers" just near _ & "War & Peace" a few yards away on the sand. You haven't mentionned that holiday, but don't you often think of it? I will write a letter or another of those or an Aerograph, or all three - very soon. All my love for always - & bless the baby. xxx Harry
