Geek Weekly #8

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Geek Weekly's 5th Anniversary
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Geek Weekly's 5th Anniversary

What can I saw about LaInferiora that won't sound embarassingly superlative? If she dances as well as she writes (and looks), it's a good thing I've never dropped by the Show Palace to catch her act. It's just not proper to see a grown man reduced to a quivering mass of.... As for LaSuprema, well, even if she's actually the shorter of the two, the name says it all. But seriously folks. When I want to speak my mind and stir up shit. I know that Geek Weekly is the one publication in Tinytown I can rely on to publish the truth, and buy me some enchiladas to boot. It's a kick-butt fanzine in a kiss-ass world, and more power to ya. Rage on. --Rob Patterson, freelance writer

Susan, I really want to thank you for all the clothes you've taken off over the years. I've been staring at your image for 4 years and I (and many others) never get tired of it. All this and a zine to boot. Love a starlet. --John Michael McCarty, director, The Sore Losers, Teenage Tupelo, Shine On Sweet Starlet

The first time I saw Geek Weekly was about four years ago when someone showed me an article they had published about me called "Alcoholic Masterbator" (GW #4). But I loved the magazine even more during last years SXSW when, on a slow news day, they printed an interview with Rob Patterson that trashed everyone in town and so my column was basically written for me. Thanks J & S. I'll be needing your help again this year. --Michael Corcoran, Austin American Statesman

Before I met J & S, it was always so hard for me, being so popular and suave, trying so hard to fit in with the Geeks. It seemed my every effort to be a nerd met more ridicule and rejection from those geeks on mountain high. But after reading Geek Weekly, I figured out where I had gone wrong. J & S showed me the way, now I'm geeky and proud. --Travis Higdon, Apathy Drugs & Grudges Records

I'm proud to be a Geek Weekly groupie. To encounter a publication that overflows with wit, vitriol and style is pleasure enough. To encounter a publication that consistently reveals its passionate, possibly unnatural fascination with Jews and rock critics -- obviously too good to be true. But what's truly fantastic (and I mean that as in the stuff of fantasy, not as an inflated synonym for 'good') is the fact that the person responsible is such a fabulous babe. And that Inferioria chick ain't too hard on the eyes, either. --Jason Cohen, Zamboni Rodeo

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Last edit over 5 years ago by terriertle17
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Vive le Geek Weekly. Vive le Jennifer LaSuprema et Susan LaInferioria. Congratulations to the Shimmer Twins on the fifth anniversary of their journalistc masterpiece. For that is what it is dear fellow travelers, a much-needed chronicler of the times worthy of the trees that died for our entertainment pleasure.

Where else can one read about the Kiss Offs before they were "discovered" by the local press? Or how about Kid Rock before he was an ultra-mega-rich trendsetter? He was just another white boy rapper with a limited vocabulary when Geek Weekly nailed him in Austin November 1998

For further proof I turn your attention to Geek Weekly #6 and an interview with Corcoran the Great that is infinitely more interesting than anything he's written, except of course when he's skewering Austin wannabe glitterati, and you know who you are.

Corky was forthcoming, funny, loose and a riot. Smoking a "J" with Paul McCartney at age 18!? Now that's important info. Beats my smoking a "J" on the roof of the Swedish embassy in London.

Or how about Geek Weekly #7 (c'mon people, you know you collect them some where under your piles of dirty undies). Not only are we treated to Geek Gal of the Month, Zoe Britton of stage and pinup fame, but yet another interview with one of Austins jaded musical observers. Rob Patterson laid down for Susan et voila, another layer of Austin peeled back to show it's messier side, another slice of history forgotten by the hipper-than-thou Chronicle folks, or ignored by XLent -- "we're a family paper dammit!"

Yes, I am biased, smitten if you will be the two luscious editors from ehll. For one, I have been in Madame LaSuprema's bedroom oh so long ago. No, not to clean it up, but to peruse her historical collection of posters, magazines, and albums, and pick her brain about a bunch of witty youngsters weeded to the allue of, gasp, gathering news, views, and lewd reviews for publication on paper.

As for Madame LaInferioria, not only am I bowled over by her beauty like every breathing male heterosexual, but also by her wicked action with the pen. To wit, after reading her ode to Jewish boys, I wanted to be Jewish. I swear, after laughing out loud to the paragraph below, I went to the West Mall at UT to see if some young fresh fellows were strutting around a little mightier than before after Susan pushed so many right buttons. Check it out:

"The best boywatching in all of Austin can be found on the University of Texas West Mall. I speak not of the spunky young boys who staff the tables for leftist organizations, nor of the plethora of nearsighted cuties who catch much-needed sun there. No, I'm talking about those Semitic sweeties, those Hebrew honeys, those Jacobs, Hoshuas and Joels that staff the recruiting tables for the campus Jewish student associations."

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Last edit almost 5 years ago by cxex
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Only in Geek Weekly, my friends, would we find stunning social commentary, elegant sexual prose and rock news before its time. Only in Geek Weekly can two find talents so lustily embrace the age-old edict: "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!" Keep up the good work ladies. Yours in servitude, -Ian Tennant, Waco Tribune-Herald

As a cultural commentator impersonator, I consider it my solumn duty to keep my thumb firmly planted on the pulse of young America. Regretfully, as I grow futher removed from youth and closer to a reunion with my maker (Hasbro), I have on increasing occasion removed my thumb from the afforementioned pulse to operate a remote control or bowling ball. As my colleagues wax incessantly about Tortoise and Elliott Smith, I am tooling about town in my auto doing steering wheel drum solos to Jeffersoon Starship. How insensitive.

The only way someone as shamefully out-of-touch as me could maintain a semblance of in-the-know credibility is by reading Geek Weekly. Jennifer and Susan's thoughful analysis of local and national music trends is an invaluabel tool in cultivating an arsenal of witty bon mots to drop at parties and shows. And their article on the powerful, all-knowing triumverate of Craig Koon, Tim Stegall and Rob Patterson taught me more about scene politics than a decade of gigs (...and I could've been home watching "Law and Order").

Yet Geek Weekly is more than music. Much more. Susan and Jennifer has repeatedly taken their readers on a cryptic journey to the soft white underbelly of our society where life is as sweetly decadent as a dozen Krispy Kreme Hot News. Their extended Memphis travelogues have always struck a chord with me, perhaps because I once bought a really nice pair of slacks there, but that's another story altogether.

For now, I leave the fine young ladies of Geek Weekly with a word from Joaquin Miller I found in "The Businessmans's Book of Quotes for All Occasions":

"Brave admiral, say but one good word: What shall we do when hope is gone?" The words leapt like a leaping sword: "Sail on! sail on! sail on! and on!"

God bless Geek Weekly and all who sail with her. -Greg Beets, Peenbeets

Last edit over 4 years ago by nealk111
I Was in a Band with the Worst Drummer Ever
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I Was in a Band with the Worst Drummer Ever

Back in the early 90s, George Hennard shot up a Luby's in Bell County, Texas killing 23 people and shattering the record for most victims taken by a mass murderer. Guess what? He was a drummer. Andria Garner, the Cajun Queen of the Show Palace, sang in the Missing Links when Hennard was a member. She spoke to GW in March 2000 to tell us about the worst ever punchline to a drummer joke.

I was in a band called Missing Links, I found them through the Austin Chronicle and they needed a singer and they needed a drummer. So they tried me out, I made the band and everything and then we were looking through the Chronicle and we found a drummer for hire, George Hennard. We tried him out and he was good and all, had a really great drumset and he jammed with us for the longest time. And we knew there was something wrong with him, Just his opinions in general, like on women and stuff, he had a real low opinion of women, called 'em golddiggers, stuff like that, he'd always go about that and we'd wonder why. We couldn't figure out why he talked like this, and he always had a really bad temper at band practice.

How old was he at the time? He was about 35.

Did he ever have any girlfriends? No, he never did because he had such a problem with women. He was always cutting them down, like he was a woman-hater or something. That's kind of the gist of it on his personality. He threw a lot of temper tantrums at band practice, 'cause he didn't like his drumset touched and he would totally freak out just out of nowhere. And he wasn't an easy person to get along with. Everybody else in the band got along just fine, but nobody could get along with George at all. We could tell he was very troubled. You could almost see it in his eyes. He was real troubled. But after the band broke up, none of us communicated and then all of a sudden, it was James Aldrige -- the guitar player -- his girlfriend Julie came out to my place and said, "You're never gonna believe what happened. George Hennard was the one who killed all those people in Bell County." I had a picture that was of me and George sitting on a couch, I think it was at a party we were playing at. I happened to give it to Julie and she took it to the National Enquirer and

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Last edit over 5 years ago by terriertle17
I Was in a Band with the Worst Drummer Ever
Complete

I Was in a Band with the Worst Drummer Ever

made up this big hoopla story that I didn't even know what it was, I didn't even bother to read it. All I know is that my face came up in the National Enquirer. They came out and interviewed us. That was the only time the band ever made it big, when that son of a bitch decided to kill all those people in Luby's Cafeteria. Is that crazy or what? They came out and interviewed Julie and James, and they weren't even together anymore. Then they interviewed Blake, John, the bass player and then they came out and they interviewed me. I had every kind of reporter coming out and finding me where I lived, these complete strangers and asking me all about this. One woman in particular came in and introduced herself, she said "You're the one that knows George Hennard?" I said, "Yes, I do." She gets on the phone and calls and says, "I'm at the house of the ex-lover of the guy that killed all those people at Luby's." I took that phone out of her hand and hung it up and basically escorted her out. I swear to God, they bugged us for the longest time. Everybody who knew the band or was a band member got questioned to death. It almost broke up our friendship. When were brought together under these circumstances, the energy was just weird as shit.

Is anyone else from the band in any other bands these days? No, actually, I haven't heard from Blake and James turned out to be smoking crack and I haven't heard from John. Ever since that happened, we just don't get together anymore. But I had reporters out the goo-goo out here asking all sorts of questions, and I can't believe Julie sold that picture to the National Enquirer. That pissed me off to no end. But we knew he was crazy from the get-go and when the reporters came out we told them the same thing I'm telling you right now. There was something wrong with him from the get-go, because of the way he acted, his philosophy on women in particular. That's why he did the killing in Bell County. Here's something that happened before he came to Texas -- he had a merchant's license and he had ggotten popped with weed and he lost his merchant's license and ever since then he's been going downhill. He lived up north and he brought his mom down to live in Texas so that he could take care of her. Ever since then, he'd been going downhill, he had really bad luck with women, this, that and the other and when we found out he'd killed all those people in Bell County we found out he -- he blamed it on Bell County. [Hennard yelled "This is what Bell County has done to me!" before opening fire.] He said they ruined his life. And I think there was a woman involved who had left him and he just snapped, went crazy and killed all those people.

Did you know he had guns? Yeah, there were times I'd gone over to his house after band practice and we'd get high and hand out and talk, and when I talked to him he was so negative. He was not a happy man at all. He was a real jerk. A

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Last edit over 5 years ago by terriertle17
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